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Spork: The Seer (Part 2)

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Creep: Hold on, lemme make some coffee for reals....
Erik: Alright...so CreepE and I read the first two chapters...that was hell...so while we were sitting in therapy, trying to recover from the ordeal, we decided we couldn’t do this alone. So we went back to headquarters and brought in some back up.
Creep: We needed 2 more people: Commander Northwestern and former she-soldier, Kitters McWhiskers.
Kit: Pfft--That’s my nickname now? XDD
Creep: It sounded like a cat to me.
Kit:... Ah, yes. That makes sense. |D Anyway, even though I’m kinda friends, er, at least on good terms with Ash now, I reserve the right to make fun of stupid shit, no matter how old or dated it is. XD So I thought it fitting to help Spork the Seer as some epic come-back or something. |3
Creep: Indeed.....this story is far is so wallbanging dull, I literally had to make COFFEE to stay awake. Literally, french cream...it’s yummy. *sips* Anyway, it’s time for Round 2 where hopefully SOMETHING will happen dammit.
Kit: If memory serves me right, but it usually doesn’t, I think we have to wait ‘til chapter 4 for something semi-interesting.
Creep: So we have to wait ANOTHER chapter for them to go to Cantoria?
North: Are you honestly surprised?
Kit: Wait, to get to Cantoria? Hell, no. We have to wait til chapter 7 or 8 for that. I meant the plot kinda starts getting started in chapter 4....KINDA. *wince/helpless shrug*
Creep: FUCK!!! >.< Damn it, Ash..why? Ugh, let’s do this...
Kit: Onward; to filler! XD

-------

Light gray clouds covered the blue sky from view the next morning. Powdery snow was falling over the city of Danville when Phineas and Ferb awoke at six o'clock that January morn.

Creep: The hell?! Wasn’t this summer the last time I read this fic? When did winter start?!
Kit: It as summer last chapter? I don’t recall a date being given last chapter... Did I miss something? 0-o
Erik: How could it be summer? 1) They had homework. 2) This is ASH! Fuck summer!
Creep: Why is it suddenly snowing?
Erik: ...They have school...it’s snowing...do the math, it’s winter.
Creep: I must have blinked or something ‘cause the timeline between the first two chapter didn’t mention winter.
Erik: It mentioned school.
Creep: Why not spring time or something? That’s closer to summer!
Erik: Because that encourages inventing...which is wrong.
Kit: I’m really surprised no one has taken Spring Break into consideration. 0-o
Creep: Probably because it’s more fodder for sex fics....we all know spring break is sex break. XD
Kit: Oh. x3

As usual, Phineas came up with a new idea; and as usual, Ferb looked it over with him.

North: No, really?!

And, as usual,

Creep: Perhaps in your twisted little mind, maybe Ash.

Linda had to call them down for breakfast at seven.

"Phineas, your father

Linda: Whoops, I mean your STEP-father....

will be picking Ferb up at twelve thirty for his dental appointment, and considering they'll be downtown, they'll be picking a few things up for the store," Linda announced as her sixteen-year-old sons got dressed appropriately to leave the house. "And I will be over at Candace's house, helping her with a few chores. Which means that you will be home alone for at least two hours or so—!"

Erik: ...Which is a parent’s way of giving their son permission to masturbate.

"Mom, just 'cause I'm the youngest, it does not mean I don't know how to stay home alone," Phineas muttered as he zipped up his jacket. Perry the platypus was lying on the teenager's backpack, seeming to be fast asleep.

Creep: Oh there you are, Perry! Nice to see you as a minor character.
Erik: Phineas is not the youngest, Ash. Dan and Swampy went out of their way to make this true. Now get your head out of your ass. >.<
Kit: He might be considered the youngest by maturity or...innocence or something like that. Ferb might be a bit more mature than he... *shrugs*
Creep: Innocence doesn’t equal being stupid or immature.  =\
Erik: ...I love that you do that, Kit....that...you just go out of your way to try and think the best of people. XD
Creep: In fact, that’s why we love you.
Kit: I do try. |D
Creep: The point is, just because Phineas is a LITTLE oblivious, doesn’t mean he’s stupid, okay? He’s not a child; he’s a SMART child. Stop making him out like he’s 5-year-old.

Linda grinned as she looked through her purse. "I'm sorry, Phineas, I just want to make sure you're alright with coming home to an empty house," she replied. "The last time you were calling Candace once every fifteen minutes."

North: Because, apparently, in Ash’s version of the story, Phineas suffers from paranoia.
Erik: When has Phineas been paranoid? They left him to do his own shit in ENGLAND!
Kit: Any other child would never have left their parents’ side in a foreign country. But Phin’s smart and can take care of himself, so he doesn’t need supervision 24/7.

"That's because you never told me where you were, Dad and Ferb got caught in a traffic jam and couldn't reach me, and there was a massive storm over the tri-state area," Phineas pointed out, making Ferb giggle as the green-haired teenager leaned down to tie his shoes.

Creep: Why Ferb so giggly through this fic? >.>
Erik: Laughing ga--ahh who am I kidding?
Kit: I can’t imagine Ferb being a giggler... Chuckler, MAYBE. Nothing above that, though. 0~o
Erik: I thought only girls giggled...XD
Kit: There are some guys that giggle... Mostly younger boys or feminine males. Masculine males don’t giggle, though. |D
Creep: ...it’s Ferb. >.>

Plus, to top it off, I had just finished playing through a game of basketball while attempting to fight back a massive headache… not a good combination—Would you just quit while you're ahead, Genius?!" he exclaimed as Ferb continued to giggle uncontrollably.

Creep: ….no, this is totally not Ferb....I recall Ferb being more....formal and restaint.
Kit: That’s what makes him awesome. 0w0 That’s why he has so many fangirls!
Creep: He sounds so....ridiculous this way. Why get rid of the things that made him cool in the first place?

When all his brother did was laugh some more, Phineas playfully swatted him across the head.

"I'm sorry; you're so cute when you panic," Ferb teased.

North: *facepalm*
Creep: Ah, now I see why Kit’s favorite part in this fic. *rimshot*
Erik: ...Wtf?
Kit: XDDD I see what you did there. CreepE. CX Nah, even I rolled my eyes at that line. |3

"Why do you only talk when you have something dorky to say?"

Once Perry had removed himself from Phineas' backpack, the teenagers left the house, racing as usual. "See you tonight, Mom," Phineas shouted over his shoulder as he and Ferb ran out. "Bye, Dad!"

North: WHAT? THIS CAN’T BE ONE OF ASH’S FICS! THEY CALLED LAWRENCE THEIR DAD!
Creep: I will give Ash credit; she’s at least more leniant about her apparent anti-stepfather hate and giving Lawrence...some respect....but then again, she still referenced Francis in the last chapter so....w/ever.
Kit: I wanna let you guys in on a little secret... Francis is NEVER MENTIONED EVER AGAIN AFTER THAT. |D
Creep: That’s good.....it still doesn’t help the case that Ash literally CANNOT write a P&F story without mentioning Francis ONCE.
Erik: Pinky promise, Kitters?
Kit: Well... I did skim the later chapters when it got REALLY dull, but I’m pretty sure they’re focused on other things, so if Francis is ever mentioned, I didn’t notice it. They’re more focused on Phin’s angsting than Francis, really; angsting about dying, I mean.
Erik: ...So it’s the same shit. XD

"Have a good day at school," Lawrence called out from the steps before closing the door.

Creep: Yeah, because P&F in school always worked out for fanfics...*coughweddingimpossiblecough*

The bus had not yet arrived, which was a rare thing to happen for Phineas and Ferb. On any normal occasion, they enjoyed playing close calls and normally dashed out of the house when the bus was just about to take off again. Today, it seemed as though they were early.

Phineas: Hey Ferb, why don’t we drive?
Ferb: *shrug* Laziness on the author’s part?
Phineas: Hmm....good point.
Erik: *sigh* Why do people always put P&F in school?

"Hm. Must be ice on the road," Ferb muttered while looking down the street.

Creep: Hmmm...if only P&F were smart enough to figure out their problems....

Phineas placed his red toque over his head and looked at his brother. "We have a science test today, right?" he asked. As Ferb nodded, Phineas dug into his pocket and pulled out his mittens. "Guess that means I'll need to build that contraption myself at lunch hour, huh? Since Dad's pickin' you up at twelve thirty?"

"I'm still at school for the first half-hour of lunch," Ferb pointed out.

"True, but you need to go to the front desk and then wait for Dad, granted he gets there earlier. And knowing Dad, he probably will." Phineas shrugged. "No biggie, I mean I've done it before, right?"

Ferb smiled amusingly. "With disastrous results," he teased.

Creep: Ugh, I hate Ash’s Ferb....he’s an annoying pest.
Erik: ...Why...does he feel suddenly gay?

"That is not true!" Phineas replied with a laugh, shoving his brother aside. "I've been able to build them without a mistake… just as long as they're smaller than my body, that's all."

Creep: In fact, I hate Phineas and Ferb under Ash’s control....they don’t act like loving brothers...they act like stereotypical brothers you see on Nick’s sitcoms. >.>

Ferb chuckled while rolling his eyes, but hardly had a moment to react when Phineas pushed him backwards into the snow. "I'm on first again!" the red-head exclaimed as he dashed towards the sidewalk. When the British-born American looked to the street, he saw the school bus slow to a stop.

North: Next on Disney Channel, it’s “Red-Head & British-born American”!
Creep: Let’s notify people about how Phineas and Ferb aren’t blood-related even moreso! =D
Erik: Are you fucking kidding me, Ash? Yeah because when I read something like Harry Potter, he is commonly referred to as “The British-Born Brit”. That’s how professionals write, of course.
Kit: I think it was jut a refference to him being born in Britain and raised in America. Weird adjective, but just an adjective.
Creep: ...we know this. No reason to bring it up.
Erik: But she’s always doing this....
Creep: It’s like calling me, “African-American Boy”....they have names for a goddamn reason.

"Oh, no, you don't," Ferb muttered

Erik: Shut up.

as he quickly got onto his feet and ran after his brother. Thanks to all the running he did in sports, he could sprint fairly quickly; so when he reached Phineas just as the teenager was about to enter the bus, Ferb grabbed his backpack and pulled Phineas back out as hard as he could. The young tinkerer shouted in surprise as he stumbled backwards and fell into a pile of snow.

Ferb saluted him and dashed into the bus. With a laugh, Phineas got onto his feet and dashed in after him.

Isabella was sitting in her designated seat,

North: Since when are there “designated seats” on school buses?
Creep: Not since 1st grade.
Kit: Maybe ‘self-designated’... maybe that’s implied? But, seeing as ‘self’ is never used, yeah, I don’t recall being told where to sit on the bus freshman year of HS.
Creep: That’s because you’re not a little kid but a young adult who doesn’t need other people to be told where to sit on the bus.

reading a magazine, when the boys came in—she had needed to run some early morning errands for her mother so she was picked up a few stops earlier. As usual, all eyes were watching them as they fought to enter the bus first.

Creep: ‘Cause P&F are popular.
Erik: Sues.

She grinned in amusement as Ferb dashed in first this time, wearing a bright grin—and then her heart fluttered as Phineas stumbled on behind him, his clothes covered in snow.

Creep: Starting to realize that there’s more Phinbella in here than in most of Ash’s stories.
Erik: Oh dear God...DX
Kit: Oh, yeah, it gets rather insufferable later... It’s not the main focus, but by God, does it get annoying eventually.

Even when he looked silly, she thought he was cute.

Creep: Oh that’s right, there’s a TON of Phinbella in Seer...I remember from the pictures.

Phineas leaped onto Ferb as they reached their seat before looking up at his childhood friend and smiling brightly. "Hey, Isabella," he said cheerfully. "Watcha doin'?"

Creep: Son of a bitch!!!!! Why can’t no one spell her damn catchphrase right?! It’s “WHAT’CHA DOIN’?”!!!!! There’s no alternate way to spell it. Oh right, Canadian English..my bad...
North: I was waiting for you to flip out at that. XD
Ash: My Canadian Engrish is bad.

*****

Phineas' assumptions had been correct; Lawrence arrived at the school fifteen minutes earlier, disappointing Ferb a little—he had wanted to stay and help his brother build the invention even a little.

Creep: Even Ferb wants something cool to happen other than boring shit we see in real life, not in cartoons.

Luckily for him, Phineas had promised to take pictures.

The rest of the afternoon dragged on for Phineas until the final bell rang. Along with Isabella, he got on the bus and rode it home.

It was not often that he and Isabella rode the bus without Ferb's company. Although he found his heart thumping in odd rhythms most of the time,

North: *double facepalm*
Erik: ...So when does something happen?
Creep: So I guess Ash really dedicates herself to Phinbella so much that she can barely do anything else with the pairing in other stories.
Kit: We get a plot device at the very end of the chapter... Then something only kinda weird happens in chapter 4; that’s it.
Creep: The magical stone, yes?
Kit: Yeah. I think around the end of chapter 4 the plot gets rolling, or the start of chapter 5 or...something.
Erik: ...That’s what pisses me off...this is too slow. If I weren’t critiquing this, I would have never gone this far. I do not have the time to invest my leisure hours into a story that feels so boring to read.
Creep: So bad I put on “Monsters Vs. Alien” as background noise during this fic just to stay awake.

Phineas had come to enjoy the few moments he had alone with his closest friend. Ever since they had been very young, in fact, even before Ferb moved in, Phineas and Isabella had spent several minutes a day, talking about things, whether they be silly or not.

Creep: ….eh.

Isabella, despite the fact that Phineas' obliviousness was still irritating her, relished the moments they spent alone.

Creep: Phinbella romance.
Erik: Urgh...moving on...

It hardly ever happened, more or less because Phineas wanted to include everyone. That's why she would text him sometime every evening, just to chat. Often, it was to hear him say something encouraging—Isabella knew more than anyone that Phineas could put the sun back into the sky on a cloudy day; all of her problems seemed like nothing when his comforting words penetrated her.

Creep: Isabella angsting over Phineas’ obliviousness....I mean seriously, it was understandable when he was 10.....now he’s in high school and he’s still portrayed as a dumbass who literally cannot pick up obvious signals from Isabella. It was cute and funny when they were kids, but it’s just GRATING as teens.
Erik: We watch the show. We know they have a fucking romance. There’s nothing to set up here. So PLEASE move on.

If only he wasn't so dull on the romance level, maybe he wouldn't be so fidgety when I ask to speak with him alone, Isabella thought.

Creep: You’re gonna keep going with this, aren’t you?
Kit: Kinda. =w= I only remember one thing about their romance in this thing; I don’t recall other moments being anything besides generic moments...
Creep: Again, I wish Paola was here; at least her stories run on a railway pase. >.>

She had noticed Phineas' seemingly anxious actions more and more often, but never took them to be incredibly serious just yet. He's a boy, she would tell herself; all boys do silly things like that around girls

Creep: Phineas’ “Cumming”-of-Age story. *rimshot*
Kit: XDDDD It’s so immature that’s it funny! CX
Erik: I can’t believe you made that joke...XD
Creep: It was so obvious. XDDD

, except for Ferb. He's got the gentleman role down pat.

When the bus stopped in front of Phineas' house, he hardly noticed his friend's disappointment; but he winked and smiled anyway while waving. "Finish your homework, get home after visiting your grandparents, and catch me on the edge of the Fields of Ashes in The Seer, okie doke?" he said.

Creep: *Okie-dokie.

Isabella waved back. "You betcha, Phinny!" she replied.

Creep: Do teenagers suddenly become so lazy they have to come up with stupid nicknames instead of saying their full names? “Bufe”, “Jeet”, “Izzie”, “Phinny”, “Ferbo”...
Kit: According to the teens at my school, this is weirdly accurate, actually. |D  Hell, some have nicknames that aren’t related to their name at all. But I get your point. (I think Bufe and Jeet are canon nicknames, though...I THINK. Don’t quote me on that... >~>)
Erik: Phineas can’t be assed to use the full 4 syllables for Isabella’s name. I mean fuck that.
Creep: The problem is that these are not normal teenagers...at least in P&F’s case. Again, kinda weird how they went from kids who do incredible things from going to the moon and stopping an alien overlord to dull, average teenagers who bitch and moan all damn day long.

Phineas hopped down the steps of the bus before turning around and watching it head down the street to Isabella's stop. Then, he turned and walked towards the house while pulling out his key. "Perry's probably still on his daily mission, so that means I've got the entire house to myself to do homework and then play video games…" He sighed. "I could invent, but Ferb's not here to start building it with me; so I guess the only thing left to do is think up ideas while I'm playing with Izzie." He jogged up the front steps while tossing the key into the air. "Hee hee; good thing I know how to multitask when inventing is involved, or else—!"

Creep: Lazy fuck.

A bright light suddenly crossed over his eyes, causing him to recoil and pull his key away from the lock. "Whoa! What the?" Phineas exclaimed while shielding his face. Turning his head in the right direction, he rubbed his eyes and opened them.

North: Who here ordered the Plot Device?
Creep: Over here at Table 3. *waves hand* I ordered a side of Plot Convincence with it too.

Lying in the snow a few feet away in their yard was something round and extremely shiny. It seemed to cast a light on its own, since no sunrays were strong enough to penetrate the clouds above.

Creep: God’s Kidney Stone.

Phineas put down his arm and stared at the object in odd curiosity. Perhaps Ferb had dropped one of his tools on the way to the bus? Maybe their mother had lost the extra key to the house again? Whatever it was, Phineas' childlike curiosity immediately ordered his body to turn away from the door and go see what it was.

Creep: Again, do you ever recall Phineas acting this immature and braindead in the actual show?
Ash: ...There’s a show?

And as usual, Phineas did just that.

Jumping off of the steps, he landed in the soft fluffy snow and began trudging across the front yard to the glow nearby. When he was standing over it, Phineas squatted down and reached into the snow to pull out the item.

Creep: MAGICS.

It was a stone, smooth to the touch and almost completely flat. Phineas tilted his head curiously as its glow dimmed so that he could study its structure. Now, it looked as though the rock was made of glass, containing a type of light that rippled with shades of blue, pink and purple.

Phineas: ….oh baby. 0.0 *kisses rocks deeply* <3

"Woooowww," Phineas whispered in awe while holding the stone up to his eyes. "What's something as beautiful as you doing out here in the snow?"

Creep: ….I was joking! >.< Stop ruining my jokes, you damn story!
North: Wow, Ash, just...wow.

The stone seemed to cast a bright ripple of light in reply before dimming again. The teenager stared at it for a little longer before realizing that it was still winter outside and that the wind was beginning to get a little chilly. Rising to his feet while tucking the gem in his pocket, he pulled out his key again and dashed to the front door.

Creep: Cue several more filler that will not have an impact on the rest of the damn story.
Erik: ...So we have to wait for chapter 8 until they finally start the plot?
Phineas: …>.> ….<.< *locks himself in his room with the stone* <3
Kit: 7 or 8. I forget which... Might even be 9. I forget. Around there.
Creep: So this is it or is Chapter 4 next?
Kit: Chapter 4’s next.
Creep: Sweet. So far nothing has happened except stuff we already knew.
Kit: Onwards? =3

*****

HONK! HOOOONNNKK!! BEEP!!

Creep: GAK! RANDOM FUCKIN’ NOISES!

Lawrence groaned in frustration before slapping the wheel of his truck. "Blasted traffic; it always seems to happen when we're on our way back home early!" he complained. "There is a bypass for a reason, you know!"

Erik: Lawrence...it was only a matter of time until she raped you too.
Creep: *sniffles*
Kit: D8 But I like Lawrence! I don’t recall how he is here; didn’t really reread... but don’t tell me she screwed him over, too... ;~;

Ferb was just as tired as his father was; they had been sitting in traffic for nearly an hour now; it was nearing four thirty, and all he had to entertain himself was his cell phone and iPod, which was beginning to be low on battery power.

Creep: iPod? Really, Ash? *rubs forehead* DX It’s fuckin’ P&F, not real life....
Kit: Well, he did have SOME kind of portal music player or... something of that nature in an episode. *shrugs* Guess she assumed it was an iPod and went with that.
Creep: Yeah, because iPods truly exist in P&F....even though it shown once, despite iPod being a popular device that almost everyone owns.
Erik: A FUCKING iPOD?!?!?!
Creep: So...no point in having it here....
Kit: True; maybe they could have made their own device that does all that an iPod does and more, or something.
Creep: Could have given Ash some credit if it was at least a parody. “iThing”, “iMusic”....whatever...

"Blast this nonsense," his father muttered stubbornly. He looked at his son. "Almost reminds me of Charlene's driving."

Creep: Interesting, we get a Charlene reference too....thankfully, Ash didn’t expand her character well enough for me to get angry about.
Kit: I envisioned her as someone I’d love hating... She was designed to be disliked, apparently, and I’d heavily indulge cause she sounds like an ass... If only she had any development or, I dunno, scenes. I’d enjoy hating her. I know too little to hate her.
Creep: Oh like Antonio....I see.
Erik: OMFG...why does she have to needlessly reference her OCs? Just she just orgasm at the very thought of them?
Creep: It’s like me showing off Clarence and Frida in my Olivia fics for some random reason. Ironically, the one story we hate, “Fireworks”, has nothing to do with Charlene and we barely see her at all.
Erik: ...I thought she was a focus in that fic.
Creep: She was suppose to be....no, the story was about Ferb angsting ABOUT Charlene....we don’t see Charlene as a character herself.

"Her driving was more reckless," Ferb replied without looking up. "And she would curse at the driver in front of her every five seconds. Even if it was a bobby or someone of the sort."

Creep: If I knew her, I’d agree.
Erik: How the fuck do you know, Ferb?!

Lawrence leaned over his seat. "Who are you texting, Lad?" he asked. But when his son only pulled his phone away to hide the message he was texting, his father chuckled and leaned away. "Ah, the girl, that's who," he guessed. "Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. You know, I would very much like for her to come over some time for dinner…"

Creep: Isn’t she like in her 20s...and you’re a teenager? 0.0
Kit: If I, at 16, were dating someone in their 20’s, my parents would demand to know what they’re paying me or holding over my head. 0~o I don’t recall adults dating minors being...legal. Common, but not legal. At least, not in the Unites States.
Creep: Exactly.
Erik: Ferb’s 16? Then yeah, Vanessa is 23....that...is jacked up.
Creep: There’s the character rape; Lawrence is totally cool with his underage son hanging out with a 20-year-old in a romance situation.
Lawrence: Oh it’s all jolly good. I fucked a 40 year in front of her husband at his age. =D
Creep: :music: Men, men, men, men, men, MANLY men men men.... :music:

"She's exceptionally busy with her own parent problems," his son replied.

Ferb: It’s funny ‘cause her mom’s name is Charlene too. =D

"Uh-huh… Have you given Phineas a call yet? He must be wondering where we are."

Ferb sent his text and then went through his contact list. "He's not actually afraid of staying home alone, you know," he muttered.

Lawrence giggled. "I know that," he replied as his son held the phone up to his ear. "But it's so much fun, pushing his buttons, since he won't do anything more than squeak angrily."

Creep: Because THAT’s what the Flynn-Fletchers always did....troll Phineas constantly.
Kit: I can’t really even defend that one. I could say ‘families do that’ - hell, my family trolls me all the time - but it’s not something THIS family really did. 0~o
Creep: Mean-spiritedness all the way, huh Ash? =3

Although Ferb was not incredibly fond of people teasing his little brother

Creep: ….he’s not younger than you; you’re both the same age! >(
Kit: Again, might be the maturity talking... Phin might be mature, but probably not as mature as Ferb... It’s like how everyone assumed Simon was older because he was more mature (and taller) than Alvin, and everyone was surprised to learn Alvin was the oldest. |D
Creep: Then again, Phineas was fun-loving and not that immature to be classified as such. >.> He’s the straight man and Phin’s the wild guy; that’s the point of a duo.
Kit: True; I didn’t say he was immature; just not AS mature as Ferb...assumingly.
Creep: Ferb isn’t immature; he’s quiet. The last thing he did in the pilot was BELCHING.
Kit:... Eh, ok, got me there. He has his moments of immaturity. |D  Maybe I’m just used to the notion of Ferb being a bit more mature than Phin.

, he did have to agree with his father; Phineas hardly, if ever, yelled at anyone or held a grudge.

Creep: Which is why you should constantly tease and mock him. -3

The phone at the other end of the line began to ring. Lawrence looked at him. "Are you calling the landline or Phineas' phone?" he wondered.

"Phineas'," Ferb replied. "Knowing him, he'll have it nearby in case Isabella calls."

Creep: Ugh, and like Paola, everyone talks about Phinbella.
Erik: Haven’t you been keeping up? Their relationship is on Time magazine.

"… Has he, uh—!"

Ferb chuckled softly and then shot his father a sarcastic look. Lawrence giggled before looking at the road again. "Romance is tricky," he muttered.

"No, Phineas is simply blind."

Creep: No...from how Ash portrays Phineas, he’s actually got the mentality of a 5-year-old. Short attention span, sparkly things attract his attention like a child, cannot notice Isabella’s romance intentions at the age 16, etc.....again, just because he was oblivious as a kid, doesn’t mean he’s ALWAYS oblivious...
Kit: I estimate he’d start getting it at around 14 or 15... 13 at the earliest.

"Bah, he's young; he's got an entire life ahead of him."

"But not Isabella."

Creep: Can’t tell if this was a subtle sex joke or something....

Lawrence laughed at this. Ferb smiled at him until another sound turned his attention away from his father; it was the sound of a line being cut. The sixteen-year-old frowned in confusion and held the phone away in order to study it. His father looked at him curiously. "What's wrong?" he wondered.

"The phone just cut off," Ferb replied. He pressed the redial button and held it up to his ear once more before receiving the same response. "Odd… I thought Phineas had given his phone an upgrade?" Changing settings, he began writing a text and sent it.

Barely ten seconds had passed when Ferb received a text: Hey, what's up?

"Okay; his text is working but the phone is not," Lawrence muttered.

Creep: ...what kind of crappy cellphone does Phineas have?
Erik: Bullshit.
Kit: I don’t recall my iPhone being able to send texts but not recieve phone calls at all...ever. 0~o

"Try asking him if he heard anything."

Doing as he was told, Ferb wrote a second text and sent it to his brother. A few seconds following it, Phineas sent his reply:

Nnnnooo, my phone seems to be working properly.

"Did you hear my ringtone though?" Ferb muttered aloud as he text a third time and sent.

… U called? Funny, my cell didn't even vibrate.

… Try calling me, then.

Now?

Yeah.

Creep: ENOUGH TEXTING!!!!!
Erik: North died from it all.

Ferb set his phone down and stared at it in silence, waiting for the call. After stopping the car again, Lawrence looked at it too. Then, just as he was suspecting that it would not work, Ferb's cell phone rang.

"That's very strange," Lawrence muttered as his son grabbed the phone and pressed the talk button.

Creep: Wow, talk about completely pointless conversations. We’re in a fic where Phineas, Ferb and Lawrence talk about phones.....wasn’t this a “epic” about P&F fighting mythicals monsters and shit?

Ferb held the phone up to his ear, but hardly a second had gone by before he recoiled painfully. "Whoa!" he gasped.

"What?"

"There's some sort of interference going on. Like what you would get on television or the radio…" Ferb placed the phone against his ear again. "Phineas? Are you there?" he asked.

Creep: Why are we still going on about this fuck?
Kit: It has something to do with our plot device, but over-all, it IS a teensy bit pointless...
Creep: Ooo, lemme guess....it has something to do with the stone, yes?
Kit: Something like that. Heaven help me, I can’t remember what that connection was...
Creep: You not remembering much really symbolizes why this fic sucks....it’s bland, boring and left little impact.
Kit: Yup. =w=

"…Ferb…"

"What's wrong with your phone?"

"Nothing… why?"

"I can hardly hear you."

"I can hear you just fine…"

"There's some kind of interference. Did you maybe add something to it again?"

"… Ferb, I haven't upgra… phone since las… summer…"

Creep: Pffttt, it’s not like Phineas is smart enough to fix his phone or something...it’s not like he’s a genius and is capable of actually recreating a phone....like he did in the show....HA, that’d be stupid. *sarcasm*

"Oh, great, now he's cutting off," Ferb muttered to his father. "Phineas, I can barely hear you. Are you sure nothing's wrong with your cellphone?"

"… se I'm su… It wor… morning… Fer…"

Creep: ...rry...m.....sing....yo.....uys....his....story.....suc.....ks......
Kit: What? |D
Creep: “Sorry, I’m losing you guys....this story sucks.”

"What was that?"

"I sai…!"

Suddenly, the line went dead again. Ferb held the phone away for a moment before ending the call and looking at his father.

Erik: Bullshit.

Lawrence smiled compassionately. "I'm sure it's just a bug, Ferb," he said, knowing his son's protectiveness for his stepbrother. "Phineas' phone probably hit a dead zone or something. Try not to worry about it."

Ferb looked at him while Lawrence began driving the car once more. Then, in a last attempt, the sixteen-year-old tried sending a text to his brother.

This time, the text did not even go through.

Creep: OH MY GOD......it’s a fuckin’ cliffhanger! A TEXT DIDN’T GO THROUGH! D= *gasp* HOLY FUCK, WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN?!
Kit: Like I said, only ‘semi-interesting’. Interesting by intent, boring by execution.
Creep: Ummm, no. Nothing happened. A phone stopped working...the end.
Kit: I just meant that--ugh, nevermind. =w= I agree, it was boring and pointless, but it was INTENDED to be...tension or something. Didn’t succeed, but it was the obvious intention.
Erik: *yawn* Is it finally over?
Creep: Tension? The tension died before the first chapter even ended...now it’s just pointless filler ‘til they actually get to the fuckin’ mythical world....it’s weird how anyone survived this much crap to get to the actual “interesting” part of the story that we’re reading it for...

*SNIP*

Erik: God...this is just...so boring to read...DX
Creep: Hmmm.....hey guys...wanna do Chapter 5?
Kit: I got nothin’ better to do with my evening. |D Except, ya know... write fluff, maybe. Got a big list of one-shots I gotta go through. |D
Creep: Erik? You still alive?
Erik: ...Barely...and no. I do not. 2 chapters is more than enough. We’ll do Chapter 5 on Friday.
Creep: Okie-dokie....it’ll be a special birthday spork for me. =3 No wait....that’s my birthday...I’m gonna be busy. ^^; Anyway, the Seer sucks and it’s probably gonna suck harder.

We've only made it halfway to the plot! DX
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