Isabella ate dinner with them. Ferb couldn't believe how his parents didn't notice the playfully guilty looks she and Phineas shot each other across the table. He found that his appetite deteriorated with each glance they exchanged.
Creep: Well, I’m surprised he didn’t vomit the moment he walked in on them.
Of course, Linda noticed. "What's the matter, Ferb? Not hungry?" she inquired.
And, as it goes, her noticing led to Phineas noticing. "Yeah Ferb, why so down?" he asked, though his tone was everything but sympathetic. In fact, his expression was smug, as if he had intended for Ferb to feel the way he did.
Ferb looked at his father. "Can I sleep in the guest room from now on?" he asked.
Lawrence froze mid bite. His eyes flicked around the table, from Phineas (who was giving Ferb a challenging glare) to Ferb (who continued to look pleadingly at his father). "I suppose," he said finally.
Phineas: I will cut your dick off in your SLEEP! >(
Isabella: *smirks* Your training shall be complete...>3
Ferb said nothing, only met Phineas's glare with a blank expression. Abruptly, Ferb shoveled as much of his dinner as he could fit in his mouth, swallowed, and said, "Then I'll start cleaning."
As he walked away, he heard Linda talking to Phineas. "So," she said happily, "what did you and Isabella do today?"
"Nothing any good grounded kid with special privileges wouldn't do," Phineas replied, as if he'd rehearsed this reply. The table broke out in a formal laughter, and Ferb hurried to get away from it.
Erik: ...Okaaay...wait, why is Isabella there? They’re grounded.
The guest room was a disaster. Dust lay around the room like an extra carpet. Cobwebs decorated each corner and the posts of the bed. Ferb coughed. He could hardly believe he would sleep on that. Maybe they could move his bed.
Creep: They have a guest room?
Erik: Now they do.
Ferb found the leaf blower they had tricked out a few years ago and switched it to Turbo Reverse. Everything flew towards him, but the room was cleaned. He flicked it off and set it down. A few pillows that had been sucked to the nozzle fell off sadly. Ferb gathered them up and began to rearrange them on the bed.
Creep: You know, it’s hard to try to retain your goofiness after...underage sex. >.>
After an elongated period of making sure the pillows were perfect, he heard someone else enter the room. Looking up, Ferb saw Jeremy leaning on the doorway.
"Hey," he said gently, "do you need some help?"
Ferb shrugged. Jeremy stepped over the leaf blower and sat down on the bed next to Ferb. The younger boy
stared up at him pitifully. Jeremy placed a hand on his shoulder. Ferb decided that this was the equivalent of a handshake nowadays. A very guilty, I-feel-sorry-for-you handshake.
"Something's up," he said. "I have never seen Phineas glare like that. Did you two have a fight?"
Phineas: ….we did...but we resolved it...>3
Ferb: …*sniffles and calls the police* I’d like to report domestic violence.
Phineas: *pokes knife at Ferb’s cheek* Say anything and you’ll have one less ball to worry about...brother. >)
Again, he shrugged. This wasn't something Ferb was inclined to talk about, let alone with Jeremy. Perhaps if he remained silent, everyone would go away and let him think everything through.
After a few more unsuccessful attempts to get Ferb to talk,
Jeremy left, saying Suzy was waiting for him at home. Ferb spent the next half hour trekking up the stairs, collecting his things, and bounding back down them. He made every effort possible to avoid his brother. He could feel Phineas watching him, though, and it only made him hurry even more.
Creep: Phineas is the devil’s spawn.
Finally, all his things had been transported from the upstairs bedroom to the guest room on the ground floor. The movement of his bed would have to wait until tomorrow. Ferb could live with that. There couldn't be that many dead spiders under the covers, right?
The last thing Ferb needed was the notebook he had left in the basement. He headed down the stairs, bouncing up and down with each step. He searched the crowded floor, trying to locate the helmet he had stashed it in.
Panic coursed through him. Ferb raced the rest of the way down the stairs and came face to face with the person he wanted to see least. "Phineas!" he cried, something that was quite out of character for him.
Phineas was leaning against a box, the motorbike helmet upside down at his side and Ferb's notebook in his hands. He looked up at him quizzically, holding it up. "What is this?" he demanded.
Erik: ...Phineas is creepy.
Ferb said nothing. Phineas knew him well enough to interpret the silence.
"We're brothers, Ferb!" he exclaimed, waving the notebook around angrily. "We don't keep secrets like this from each other! When you're upset, you're supposed to talk to me, not a piece of paper. And who is this girl? You draw her an awful lot."
Creep: You already met Vanessa before.
Erik: Why the hell is he snooping into that?
Ferb remained silent. His heart rate had spiked. The one thing no one was supposed to see was found by the person Ferb was slowly deciding he hated. He couldn't resist the urge to bite back. "What about you? Yesterday you never would have dreamed of kissing a girl, and what were you doing earlier?"
Erik: This is more of a question directed to the author.
Creep: OOCiness for the sake of the plot.
Phineas looked away. "That's different," he said.
Phineas: I learnt what “masturbation” means and I called over Isabella for help. It got worse....and better at the same time.
"How so?" Ferb pressed.
"I was going to see if we could fix this, you know," snapped Phineas, changing the subject. "You're my brother. I don't like fighting with you."
"I don't like seeing you do things we both know you shouldn't," Ferb retaliated.
"So you're not going to go bungee jumping with me."
Ferb blinked. "We're grounded, Phineas. That term doesn't seem to mean anything to you anymore, but it does to me. I will not do anything that angers Mom."
Phineas huffed angrily. "Very well. You've chosen your path, I've chosen mine. I'll get Isabella and Buford to come with me."
Creep: Phineas has literally become...Darth Vader....and Izzy’s the Emperor.
"Have fun," Ferb told him.
"I will!" his brother cried. He stomped up the stairs, leaving Ferb alone in the darkness of the basement. He knelt down and picked up his notebook, dusting it off as he stood back up. Some of the pages had bent when Phineas dropped it. With a sigh, Ferb carried it up to his new bedroom to find a new hiding place for it.
Creep: *sigh* I miss Doof and Perry....
Erik: Where the fuck is Doof and Perry?
Phineas and Isabella managed to convince Buford to come on their bungee jumping expedition off of the tallest building in Danville. Ferb locked himself in his new room and turned all his socks inside out, just for something to do.
Creep: Wow, remember when they used to have fun and shit?
Candace and Jeremy went on a date downtown.
Creep: Wait, what? I thought they broke up!
Lawrence tried to figure out how to take apart Ferb's bed to make it easier to transport, but unfortunately had no such luck. Ferb would have helped him had he been able to go in that room without seeing Phineas and Isabella on his brother's bed.
Meanwhile, Perry was in the briefing room, holding an empty coffee mug and giving Major Monogram the death glare.
Creep: Oh, there’s Perry. =3
The major on the screen loosened his collar. "Look, Agent P, I know I said we'd get that cappuccino machine fixed last week, but our cappuccino machine repair guy is on a paid vacation with the front desk receptionist."
Perry continued to glare.
"I'm sorry, okay, but it's not my fault!" he continued.
Perry waved his hand, indicating he should get on with whatever the mission was.
"Oh right. Erm, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was seen walking around the supermarket yesterday, complaining about how he could never win. Afterwards, we saw him leave with a suspicious looking package. Your mission is to find out what it was, and how he intends to do evil with it." MM saluted, and Perry saluted exhaustedly back.
The platypus slid off his chair, eyelids drooping, and slouched to the slide.
Creep: It’s so clashing with the humor and drama of this...
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
Creep: Oh thank god! Save us from the boredom of the A-plot!
Erik: ...Is this all one chapter?
Creep: This is the whole story...a big one-shot.
Erik: My God....
Perry opened the door lazily, still holding his empty coffee mug. He couldn't defeat Doofenshmirtz until he had his coffee. Perhaps the evil scientist would loan him a cup.
"Oh, Perry the Platypus, how completely unexpected," Doof said. "And by unexpected I mean… completely pected!"
Creep: Heard it.
Erik: ...What? “Pected”?
Perry looked around, waiting for the trap, but nothing happened. He arched an eyebrow at his foe.
Doof sighed. "I'm sorry Perry the Platypus, but I just didn't have the heart to set a trap for you today. You see, I've been feeling rather down lately, since I can never beat you, you know? I am a disgrace to all evil geniuses everywhere."
Creep: Oh God, Doof’s being emo too? DX
Doof: *cuts self* =’(
Perry just looked at his empty cup to see if some caffeine had magically appeared there. None had.
"So, as is evil genius policy, I must kill myself."
Creep: *spittake* I didn’t mean it! Don’t kill my favorite character, man! GEEZ!
This sent the secret agent into full alert. His expression asked the all too obvious question.
"Why?" Doof said. "I just said why. I was actually considering jumping out the window," he gestured to the open window, "because my building is the tallest in the Tristate Area. But you see, I bought a gun yesterday instead. I always wanted to shoot one, so why not at my own head?"
Creep: *facepalm* Ughhhh....let’s go back to the A-Plot, please...
Erik: ...Where the fuck did this all go wrong?
Creep: I dunno! It was so decent and then...it completely jumped off the rails!
Perry blinked and dropped his coffee mug. Doofenshmirtz was crazy! Sure, Perry didn't like the guy, but he didn't want him dead! He looked around wildly for the gun, and suddenly it was a race to get it.
Creep: Cue epic Perry music!
"Here we are," Phineas proclaimed. "The tallest building in Danville." He dug several feet of bungee chord out of his backpack. "Let's secure them around these square air vents."
Isabella and Buford did as he said. They were all suited up in wetsuits, since there was no way Phineas could order bungee jumping gear without his parents noticing. Heck, those fools thought he was up in his tree house. They may be idiots, but they weren't completely oblivious.
Erik: ...Why would they let you in a tree house? You’re grounded....
Creep: WHEN did he have a treehouse?
Erik: ...Since always.
Creep: No...I recall it mentioned in one episode and then never again.
Erik: Doesn’t matter.
Creep: It’s a contradiction.
Erik: Not really.
Besides, Ferb would certainly tell.
He couldn't believe the spoil sport his stepbrother had become. Suddenly rules were all that were important to that Brit. Phineas couldn't stand being around him when he was like that; it would certainly destroy all his creativity.
Phineas: ANARCHY! CHAOS! DESTRUCTION! DOOM! HELL ON EARTH! >D
He checked his bungee chord, testing the tension. Perfect. He had made all the calculations the night before. It was as safe as riding a bike down the driveway.
"Ready, Isabella?" he asked, grinning and offering his hand.
Isabella smiled happily and accepted. She took Buford's hand in her free one. "One," she said.
"Two," said Buford, and his voice shook with fear.
"THREE!" Phineas cried, and they jumped.
As they fell, their hands separated, each of them breaking off to enjoy the freefall individually. The pavement was rushing towards them. Any second now, the chords would snap them back up. It would all go according to plan.
Creep: You see where this is going, right?
Erik: Oh great. =/
Dr. Doofenshmirtz beat Perry to the gun, snatching it off the table and pointing it at his nemesis. "You know," he began, "perhaps I won't feel so depressed if I just kill you off instead, hm? Then I won't leave Vanessa all alone, and I can go to L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. as a hero. Wouldn't that be grand, Perry the Platypus?"
Creep: And now Doof is trying to murder Perry the Platypus. It’s like a hellish version of a normal episode; An A-Plot and a B-Plot of nothing but emoiness, death, depression, suicude and sadness.
Erik: ...Holy shit, this is Doof’s most intelligent scheme yet! ...Purchase a gun and blow the SOB away...XD
Perry grabbed the barrel of the gun, trying to redirect it from his beak. He managed to get under it and punch Doof in the stomach. The pain caused the evil doctor to pull the trigger, and Perry was certain he was done for.
The blasting pain never came. By some divine miracle, the bullet had gone straight out the window. Perry sent a silent prayer of thanks to the platypus god.
Creep: Platypus God?
Doofenshmirtz, however, had rushed to the window to watch the path of the bullet. He was holding a severed rope that seemed to be hanging from the roof. "Uh oh," he said.
Creep: See? It’s even a dark version of stuff connecting to other stuff!
Erik: ...How could he WATCH the bullet go out?
Phineas was flying. The rope snapped back up a mere few feet from the concrete, frightening all the people who were walking along the sidewalk. He laughed at their fright. He was being pulled up, up, up, almost to the height of the roof again. Isabella was above him, a look of horror on her face.
"It's fine," he yelled to her as he began his descent again.
"PHINEAS!" she shrieked.
Below was nothing more than a pile of blood and guts, as if poor Phineas exploded on impact. Chunklets of Phineas’ pointy nose was sprayed all over the street, the sideway, the building and the face of an unforunate little girl.
Erik: Reminds me of Conker dying in Conker’s Bad Fur Day.
Perry heard Isabella's cry, and he rushed to the window next to Doofenshmirtz. He took in the fact that Isabella and Buford were still bouncing up and down the entire length of the building, and that he could see three ropes hanging from the roof. Perry looked down and saw that the people down below had created a circle around something. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was a lot of red.
Creep: Called it!
Slowly, the pieces connected in his platypus mind. A stunt like this could only be pulled off by Phineas and Ferb.
Erik: ...Actually...no...my grandma has done this...she wanted to try it out cause she had cancer and thought she was gonna die.
And since Buford and Isabella were still bouncing, and since there were three ropes initially, someone must have fallen. And it was either Phineas, Ferb, or Baljeet.
Any of those three would cause his masters great misery.
Creep: Phineas is dead.
Perry was hardly aware of what he was doing. Only one thing was certain in his mind, and that was that Doofenshmirtz had fired the gun that had severed the chord. His forepaws curled in Doof's shirt, and he felt his face contort in fury as he was beak to nose with his archenemy.
Creep: And now Perry’s gonna murder Dr. Doofenshmirtz....the irony.
"I didn't mean it, Perry the Platypus!" Doof insisted. "How was I supposed to know people were bungee jumping off my building? It's not a common occurrence, you know."
It was the only time Perry truly wished he could speak. Instead, he reached out and clenched Doofenshmirtz's throat. "Grrgrgr," he said, making the chattering noise that was his only verbal communication.
Perry: YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!! >(
Only when Doof had passed out did Perry realize what he was doing. He let go immediately. Revenge wasn't important now.
Perry: ...I’ll be back...>.> *leaves*
Erik: This is starting to get boring...DX
Seeing who had fallen was. With that, he raced out of the apartment and down the building, finally scrambling on all fours to the scene of the fall.
The authorities had arrived. Lights flashed and sirens wailed.
"It's a kid," someone in a uniform said. "He jumped off the building."
"No, he's got a rope. I think he was trying to bungee jump."
"Look, there's two more still bouncing."
"Get them down, stat."
Creep: See? Look what you done, Candace!
Isabella was crying. Buford was in shock. "What happened?" they demanded. Perry scurried under her legs, anxious to hear what had caused the—he swallowed—death of Phineas.
Creep: Yeah, we know.
"We… we were bungee jumping, because we'd never done it before, and… and everything was working just fine, and all of a s-s-sudden Phineas's chord was broken. I didn't hear it snap but I heard a bang, and then he… he… he FELL!" she cried, and broke down in fresh sobs.
"What's his name? Do you know his parents' phone number?"
"Ph-Phineas Flynn," she managed, and proceeded to recite the number.
Perry was in shock. His masters had always survived the crazy antics they pulled, whether they thought they were in danger or not. And Phineas was never without Ferb. Where was he? Why would Phineas risk something so dangerous without his brother present?
Erik: ...He does this shit every day....in fact, this was a bit tame by his standards.
Creep: Not really inspired; I guess he blew today’s idea on the giant pinball machine...man, remember that?
"What happened?" Jeremy wondered. He and Candace were walking hand-in-hand when they came across the mob of people and emergency vehicles blocking their path. He slipped out of her grasp. "Hold on," he said, "I'm going to check it out."
Candace waited patiently, counting the moments he was gone. 310 seconds
Erik: ...So 5 minutes.
Creep: 0.0 Mental math, bro.
later he reappeared, looking pale. "Well?" she inquired. "What happened?"
He swallowed and shook his head, not speaking. All he did was take her hand and lead her away. Finally, once they had walked all the way to Candace's street, he spoke. "It was Phineas," he said quickly.
Candace gasped. "You mean he's out of the house when he's grounded? Oh, they are so busted!" She turned around, already dragging Jeremy away.
Creep: Insult to injury...
Erik: ...Wow that’s dark humor.
"It was just Phineas," he informed her.
Candace paused. "No Ferb? How odd. What was Phineas doing?"
Jeremy swallowed and looked close to tears. "Lying there," he said.
She looked at him expectantly, clearly not understanding.
"Bleeding," he said finally, and once again he tried to block out the memory. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was Phineas, lying face down on the sidewalk at a painful angle. There was blood; so much blood that it ran in rivers and pooled near his head. He remembered the whites of bones poking out of his back and through the wetsuit, saw his teeth poking through his lips.
Creep: At least we went out in such an awesome way...
However, the worst part had been his eyes. Phineas's eyes were open, the whites dirtied by fragments of cement and blood. They were stretched open, as if they were shocked, and they were so very lifeless.
Creep: Actually, being eaten by a Goozim above a pool of lava would be a awesome way to go out...but bungee cords work too...it’s not really original since people have died on bungee cords in past history...
"He was hurt?" Candace guessed.
Creep: ...I’m tempted to steal a joke from the Nostalgia Critic...but I’m above that.
Erik: ….Why is Candace so stupid today?
Creep: The author must not like Candace very much, considering she’s actually much meaner than usual.
Jeremy shrugged. "He's… dead, Candace." He didn't even let the news sink in before he gave a sharp tug on her arm. "Let's go tell your parents."
Creep: Nothing but a blob on the sidewalk...
Ferb had turned his socks inside in and paired them up according to frumpiness. He then had arranged them artistically in his sock drawer. He was about to list every project they had done during the summer alphabetically from memory when he heard his mother scream.
Ferb: ...thank god. *drops socks and runs up*
Curious, he poked his head out to see her standing in the kitchen, the phone lying on the floor. She was shaking. Ferb stepped out. "What's wrong, Mum?" he asked.
Linda turned around, tears already leaking out her eyes. She opened her mouth, ready to speak, when the front door burst open.
"MOM!" Candace screeched, tearing into the kitchen. She was a wreck, her face red and eyes swollen with tears. "Phineas is DEAD!"
Creep: You really wish this was a dream, now? Well...too bad, it’s a very harsh fake reality.
Erik: ...Huh...well...not as exciting as the murder you previously mentioned, but OK.
Ferb actually stumbled backwards. What? Impossible! They had just gone bungee jumping, that's all. To prove it, he picked the phone up from where it rested at his mother's feet and pressed the receiver to his ear.
"Ma'am? Ma'am, are you still there? Your son Phineas was just killed when he tried to bungee jump off the DEI building. It appears something cut through the rope while he was falling—."
Ferb slowly pulled the phone from his ear. It couldn't be. It simply couldn't be. Phineas was his invincible brother, who had survived every maniacal stunt of every summer with him. There was no way he was taken out by… by mere bungee jumping!
Creep: It’s kinda sad, actually; you’d think Phineas would go out with a cool death scenario, you know? Like fighting a gang of evil robot sharks or something.
Erik: ...Well actually he goes out as a suicide bomber, but that sounds cool too.
Creep: Because of this, Olivia no longer exists.
Creep: Oh right, she reincarninated...never mind then.
Erik: Well Izzy is already preggers.
Creep: And Olivia will not grow up to be awesome; without Phineas, Isabella would be stricter and no allow magic and warp the future forever more...
Erik: Well actually, this is how emo Livie was born.
"Lawrence," Linda said, the word alone a cry for help. "Lawrence!"
Ferb's father came down the stairs, holding the screwdriver he had been using to dismantle Ferb's bed. "Yes, dear—what's wrong?"
She looked at her hands, then back at him. "Phineas," was all she could say.
Lawrence: ...Phineas what?
Immediately Lawrence was worried. He dropped the screwdriver and took his wife's hands. "Now tell me what happened, Linda," he said a fast, soothing tone that wasn't accomplishing its purpose. In fact, it just revealed how worried he was. "What happened?"
"Phineas!" Linda yelled again, lengthening the word like it was a battle cry. Her voice choked with sobs and her legs gave way. She and her husband sank to the floor, Lawrence still not sure as to what happened and trying to calm her down.
"Ferb," he asked, seeing his son, "what's the matter, what happened to Phineas?"
Ferb blinked, and suddenly found he could not speak.
"It he hurt?" guessed Lawrence. "Kidnapped? Run away? What's happened?"
He tried to force words to come, but all that came out was a terrible strangled noise. Lawrence turned to Candace, who was in worse shape than her mother. "Candace?" he asked.
Candace cast a glance at Jeremy, who had wrapped his arms around her in an effort to comfort her. "Phineas is DEAD!" she screamed, and fell back into a fresh round of sobs.
Ferb had seen his father do many, many things, but the one stunt he had not witnessed was tears. And, as Lawrence's eyes began to sparkle, Ferb decided he did not want to. Silently, he retreated back to his room and closed the door. It did nothing to block out the wails of his mourning family.
Ferb tried to take a deep breath, only to find that his throat was dry and hot. His eyes began to sting, his knees grow weak. He slid against his bedroom door until he hit the floor. Abruptly he was reminded of sitting under that tree in the backyard with Phineas, and he forced himself to stand up again.
Phineas was gone now. He would never, ever do that again.
The realization of that caused Ferb to lose control. He wasn't a wailer, like the rest of his family, but never had he shed so many tears, not even when he found out his real mother had died. He made sobbing noises that he never thought could come out of his throat. His vision blurred with tears. He couldn't believe it.
And, the whole time, all he could think of was how this was so very much his fault.</strike>
Erik: Yes, Phineas died.
It was probably the biggest attendance to any funeral ever in Danville.
Creep: You know, since Francis.
Erik: PHILLIP!!!!! D’=
Linda and Lawrence didn't even know half the people who showed up, because every delivery man, every guy named Steve,
Creep: I really find it in poor taste, making goofy references in the middle of a fuckin’ funeral...but whatever.
every person who helped make the boys' day the "best day ever" was there.
Despite all these people, Ferb felt very alone. His mourning outfit was stuffy and uncomfortable in the summer heat. He walked around with Perry in his arms, wondering what to do with himself. The day his brother had died, Ferb had cried himself dry. He had no more tears to shed, and much preferred to wait until everyone else had left to pay his true respects to Phineas's closed casket.
Creep: Thankfully, the story cuts off before Ferb goes even more emo.
Of course he had done the whole ceremony thing, walked up to the casket after his parents and sister and done it publicly, but it hadn't felt sincere with everyone watching.
Perry chattered sadly, and Ferb petted his head in consolation. He wasn't sure the creature understood what was going on, but it was nice to think he did.
Soon, everyone had publicly said goodbye to Phineas in his coffin and was now mingling while the pallbearers were getting ready. Ferb took the opportunity to approach his brother's casket. He stared into the glossy cherry wood, seeing his own warped image. At first, he did not move, only blinked at himself in the shine of the wood. Finally he placed his hand on the wood, though the gesture did nothing to comfort him, or make him feel closer to his brother.
His mind was spinning with the millions of things he wanted to say, like how he wished he had gone bungee jumping with him, because if he had, maybe this never would have happened. He wanted to tell him how he thought it was dastardly of him to do something like what he did with Isabella when his only motive was rebelling against his parents. Isabella would be crushed if she knew, he told Phineas silently.
Ferb imagined his brother's peaceful face lying on the pillows of the coffin, though that was hardly the case. He knew the body was mangled and cut and not meant for human eyes. A small part of him could not help but feel Phineas deserved it.
He wanted to tell Phineas he hated him for what he did to Candace, what he did to him.
Creep: Despite you agreeing to the plan before it occurred.
He wanted to say how betrayed he felt, and at the same time he wanted to grovel in apology for how he had acted. They were brothers, right? Brothers didn't fight, or hate each other, or do any of the things he and Phineas had done to each other the past few days.
There were so many things Ferb wanted to say, and all that came out was "I'm sorry." Plain and simple.
Blinking, he patted the coffin with a sense of finality, and left Perry to say goodbye. He doubted the platypus would do anything, but it couldn't hurt.
As Ferb shuffled away, Perry stood upright and snuck around to the back of the casket. Major Monogram had given him the day off to say goodbye to Phineas.
Perry stood on the other side of the coffin, where no one could see him. He whipped out his hat, placed it on his head, and took it off again in salute. Phineas had been a good master. He would never forget him.
Assuming his cover as a mindless house pet again, Perry crawled off to find Ferb.
The pallbearers came out not long after that. Ferb was too distracted by his inner turmoil to pay attention to them. As if it were a dream, he watched them lower the coffin into the freshly dug grave and bury it. He only just heard his parents and sister crying. Briefly he saw Isabella bawling into the sleeves of Baljeet.
Most of it did not register until he realized that everyone had left, that the sky had long since darkened and that he was standing all alone in the cemetery before his brother's grave. Maybe his mother had tried to make him leave, or perhaps they had all decided he needed his space and left him alone. It wasn't like it mattered.
Ferb blinked in puzzlement. Why was he still here? He had nothing left to say to Phineas. Hands shoved deep in his pockets, Ferb turned around and left the cemetery in silence. He walked home slowly, counting the lines of sidewalk that passed under his feet.
He entered the house wondering why he did so. All that he could hear was the madly depressed sobs of his family, loud and raucous. It was impossible to think with all that noise, so he went upstairs to his former bedroom. The one he had shared with his dead brother.
The room was strangely quiet compared to the sob fest downstairs. He saw that his old bed had been disassembled, the mattress leaning against the wall. Almost warily, he sat on Phineas's bed. He glanced at the Sharpied writing of "S. S. Phineas" on the side, remembering the day his brother had penned those letters onto the rubber of the raft.
The room felt very empty. Ferb noticed a paper lying on the pillow, slightly crumpled and marked up with various notes. The plans for the bungee jump, he realized. Apparently no one had been in the room (or at least given a good look around it) since that day. Gingerly he picked up the paper and read over it. Completely flawless, as always. A freak accident had taken Phineas, not an error in his calculations.
Not the absence of Ferb checking his work.
This hurt Ferb, strangely. It showed that his brother could have gotten on perfectly fine without him. He wasn't really needed.
Ferb closed his eyes and crushed the paper into a ball. He tossed it blindly, already knowing it would land in the metal trash bin that sat next to the dresser. Fine, Phineas, he thought. I don't need you either.
Out of the chest pocket in his suit, Ferb pulled out the notebook. He flipped to the next blank page, the one directly after the one that read 7-25-2010 Phineas died.
Creep: No shit.
He found a pen between Phineas's mattress and the rubber of the raft. 8-4-2010 From now on it is just Ferb.
He clicked the pen closed and tossed it behind him. The notebook went back into his pocket. Ferb was already planning a hiding place for it in his new bedroom.
Ferb stood from Phineas's bed and walked to the door. He turned, gave the room one last look, and flicked off the light.
Erik: FINALLY! FUCK!
Creep: So kids, how was this “What If” story this time? Well....Phineas is busted, becomes a huge Jerkass and...accidently got killed...
Erik: Not that bad...but WAY TOO FUCKING LONG
Creep: Doof tried to commit suicide....
Erik: The first half was OK...
Creep: Phineas said “bitch”...Isabella is pregnant....Candace is a heartless whore who doesn’t care about the fact that her livilhood of busting her brothers is gone....and...yeah, Phineas is killed and is nothing but a smear on the sidewalk.
Erik: Not good...but better than Ash’s crap.
Creep; I gotta show the author’s note for this because...it’ll make the story a million times better...
*AN: Tada. Twas beautiful, in my opinion. Even though tragedy doesn't really work with P&F, I did it anyways. This story was meant to be light and humorous, and that's how it ended up. Oh well. That's what happens. Hope you enjoyed my long one shot and thanks for reading!*
Creep: Yes, THIS story was meant to be charming and funny....it’s basically Cerbrus Syndrome: The Fanfiction! Anyway, this story is....at least entertaining in the beginning parts and it almost seems like a legit P&F story...you know, up until the busting and literally shit goes downhill...including the story, the characters, the very aspects of the show...gone. So, well done.... “Kissy Fishy”...
Erik: See ya guys next time.
Creep: Next time from “Kissy Fishy”: A crossover of Phineas and Ferb and My Little Pony! See ya next time!
Erik: CreepE will be doing that one alone.</p>